Cake.

Wasn't General Conference today wonderful?  I convinced my husband that we just needed to stay home and watch the broadcast, and take it easy.  I convinced him that this was the proper decision, by inviting over a couple of our friends, and promising to bake something.  In a toss-up between from-scratch cinnamon rolls and a rainbow cake, my girlfriend chose rainbow cake!  (Of course, had we asked the husbands I think cinnamon rolls would have won, but of course the girls chose rainbows!)

So we were enlightened by the wonderful words of the prophets, and then we dug into the cake mix, food coloring and of course, the fudge frosting and sprinkles!!!  And this is what came out!

This cake was so fun to make! We did however, only have ONE 6 inch cake round, so we had to do each layer at a time, one at a time, pour it, bake it, cool it, wash it, then start over.  It took forever, but the boys were at the Priesthood session, and we made burritos and then baked and baked and baked.  It was cool.

The first most exciting part was seeing the beautiful, puffy cakes popping out of the oven.  Then when we carved off the tops and got to actually see the pretty colors that was exciting too!

Anyway, last best part, was eating it.

However, the whole, long exciting process was great.  And then after the whole cake was made, we sat down and waited for the men to come home, and while we were waiting, we found my husband's puppy standing up against the counter licking, or rather, slurping the chocolate fudge frosting right off the side.  So we had an excuse to cut open the cake early and see the magic.  A.MAZE.ING!

Pregnant.

So I just sat and flipped (scrolled?) through my blog, and realized that I started it two years ago!  Then I wondered, "Why haven't I written in so long," and I started looking at dates.  That's when I discovered that the last time I blogged (a photo blog) was likely within the week that I conceived.  So I have evidence here, that almost to the week, pregnancy has changed my life, and my priorities, even before I realized it.

I can look back at that time and know that I had something going on.  I remember a couple of wonky periods, raised hopes and negative pregnancy tests.  Then I remember throwing a fit about having gained 30 pounds from giving up the Pill.  I remember stating with conviction that I was giving up, and that the hardships of the reality of womanhood were too much.  I was going to restart the Pill the next morning, no argument from my husband, that was that, and my mind was made.  Somehow he convinced me to take a pregnancy test, "Just to be sure."  So the next day we threw a four-pack into the grocery basket, and that night I took a tinkle, which ended up being the most life changing tinkle I have ever made.

Within seconds the second line appeared, and my heart stopped (they should put a warning about that on the box, I think).  The last thing I expected was to see two lines!  I was taking this test purely to show my husband that now wasn't the time, babies were not in our near future and we needed to give up, and get my waistline back.  That was the purpose of this test.

I stared, shocked, at the test, and he stared, terrified, at me.  We sat there, frozen, for a minute, and then I smiled, probably the biggest smile that's ever graced my face.  I think our conversation followed something like this:

Michael: "What?"
Me: *smile
Michael: *shocked face
Me: *smile
Michael: "Really?!"
Me: *smile

Then we hugged, yelled, ran around, made a few phone calls, assured my mother that it was actually my own pee, promised to use the entire four-pack within the next week "Just to be sure," and somehow, somehow fell asleep that night.  I kept that stinky old test on my counter for the first two weeks, before it occurred to me it probably ought to be thrown away.  I still have a picture of it on my phone.

Movement.

Wow. I began this blog to let my satirical writer-ego out, and discuss the hardships of being a woman.  Now here I am, 21 weeks and 6 days pregnant, and a total sap.  My love for satire is long gone, and my love for this little person inside of me is over-flowing.  All I can think about is how grateful I am to be a healthy woman, with a healthy baby growing inside me, and to have a wonderful man who totally forgives me for spending all day napping and eating, instead of cooking and cleaning.

But let me just get one thing out.  Everyone keeps asking me if I have yet to have felt my baby move.  I ask them what it's supposed to feel like, and I get answers like "Butterflies!" "Fluttering wings!" and "It's so magical, you'll just know!"  Well let me just go out and say that I have definitely been feeling something, and it feels nothing like magic.  What it actually feels like is that my child has a mace and an axe, and a vendetta against me.  Several times a day my breath is ripped from me when I feel a stabbing pain in my cervix, and little pings all around.  I think back to the ultra sound, when I got to watch my precious little one flexing and stretching her arms and legs, and it was so exciting, and now three weeks later those incredible little limbs are taking the breath out of me!  I have yet to feel the "magical flutter."

The first time I felt little Juliet head-butting my cervix I absolutely terrified my husband.  We were driving in the car, perhaps in search of food (like usual, these days) when I gasped for breath and grabbed my crotch, with what I imagine was a terrified look on my face.  My husband, driving, asks me what is wrong, and if I'm okay.  I instantly start to laugh, with pained gasps in-between my girly giggles.  I knew exactly what I was feeling, and was thrilled, despite the incredible discomfort.  For the first time feeling my baby move, when all I had been told up to this point was how magical the feeling would be, it definitely was enough to shock me, and scare the heck out of him.

Oh dear, the satirical writer still lives in me!  Perhaps little Juliet is doing these things to me on purpose, so that I may continue my love of... complaining?  I'm not sure.  Lets hope that this little girl will grow up to enjoy her mommy's sense of humor.  She is definitely giving me plenty to work with.  Right now, actually. Please, dear child, if you decide at any moment to give me the magical flutter instead, I promise to write nice things!

eleven.

I've always been fond of eleven.  It is truly a great number to spell out!  It's so much fun.  It has a v.

So I almost made it ten days in a row.  Then I almost made it eleven days in a row... Almost is the key word here.  Or... totally... not almost.

This Saturday was a very successful shoot with beautiful Hilary Barrett and Rachael Strawn.  I don't purposefully become friends with beautiful charismatic people.  I don't choose my friends with my photography career in the back of my mind.  I swear.  That is one thing that does not happen.  Promise.

So we had a fun twist on the totally sexy 50's housewife.  And not to make it an objectifying theme (as a feminist on the inside, I have opinions on these matters) we've truly made this shoot a homage to totally sexy newly-wed women (next week we'll have a shoot of men, run ragged from their new responsibility, possibly being fed brownies by their gorgeous wives).

ten.

another lighting assignment.

Yeah.

Lexicon.

Sometimes I just feel like I need to write.  It feels good just to type, and to see the volume of my vocabulary and understanding of basic sentence structure fill a page.  I find it interesting that even though I used to thrive on creative writing, the happier I become with my life, the harder it is to spend time in an imaginary one.  I wonder how many writers find themselves in a similar predicament?

As I've become sucked into the popular crime show Bones I enjoy the way that Dr. Brennan speaks through mouthfuls of vocabulary.  I know that there are so many words that exist in the English language, and somehow I have even attained a degree, without even having to know or understand a great majority of them.  I can read Shakespeare and at least have an understanding enough to laugh at about every fourth joke, but there really are so many great words that I am not taking advantage of.

When I was in middle school and high school I found that my wider vocabulary often set me apart from my peers.  Even in college, some of my favorite phrases drew uncomfortable looks from those around me.  Not to say that my favorite phrases were in any way inappropriate or uncouth, but simply unpopular.  I can't stand the way it has become unpopular to be smart, although I certainly understand the vexation caused by those who enjoy putting their wits on display.  It is a difficult line to walk, to use your knowledge, but not flaunt it.

Nine.

SO I promise I had a wonderfully full and eventful weekend, and that's why I totally ignored my new commitment to myself.  Sometimes it just feels good to ignore a commitment to yourself.  Especially when hormones are raging.  It especially feels good to ignore a commitment to yourself while hormones are raging, and there is no end in sight, and no victory to be won.  Until there's ice cream or nachos in sight, that's pretty much how it goes down.  To be fair, I ditched my yoga class in conjunction with ditching out on my blog.

BUT I did take my crazy, out of control Friday, and ran around with my camera.  Or rather, Eryn Chiu Neff ran around, and I photographed her.  Here's just one image, that comes from my inspirational idea of where I've been, and where I am now.  Granted, I don't run around in high heels, but boy do I love making my friends feel the pain for my own glory!

This idea originated from my assignment in film class (notice how I went digital instead) that is all about studying motion.  The fun part about this shoot with Eryn, is that I was able to take many of the photographs sequentially, leading Eryn to say, as she flipped through these fabulous images, "It's amazing what the human body can do."  I think that's just another testament to the genius ideas of Eadweard Muybridge, who photographed the first action photographs!  Check out this awesome study of human movement!

Eadweard Muybridge

This incredible wonder, the ability to stop motion took photographers to amazing places!  It lead me straight to this wonderfully girly and inspirational photograph by fashion photographer Richard Avedon. It's a little bit girly... but a little bit more "Wonder Woman Goes Shopping."  Gotta love that!

Richard Avedon

Photography; I like it.