Growth!

Six months ago my mornings were a mixture of depression and anxiety about the following day. If there was dishes in the sink I would literally cry through washing them, while my children screamed for breakfast. Some days I would forget to feed my children until lunch time, because I was too depressed to feed myself. I was malnourished. I was given doctor's orders to drink protein shakes even when I didn't think I could. I needed more than I was giving myself, but I thought more sleep, more peace and quiet was what would heal me.

I visited my sister, who is an early bird, and she had to wake me up every morning. She, as older sisters do, told me, "You don't need more sleep. That's not the answer. You need more activity. Get up early, set a schedule."  If someone else would have said this to me, I probably would have given them the, You-Don't-Know-What-You're-Talking-About-Because-You-Don't-Have-Children Speech.  But my sister is different.  As one of the strongest, most independent women I know, I was like, "... Okay."  

And I did. 

I went home and set my personal alarm to 7:00am. And the next morning I didn't snooze it. I made my kids breakfast. Nobody yelled at me. I didn't cry.  Did I take a nap with my kids that day? Heck yes I did!!! But this time, I deserved it.

This decision to change has snowballed, and it hasn't stopped.  My visit with my sister was just two months ago, and since then, I have walked three mornings a week at 8am, and my enthusiasm has gotten a friend to join me on those mornings, and is helping him battle his depression.  The other days of the week I get up and start my chores without delay. 

But that is not all.

I finally decided it was time to take charge of all of my habits. I joined Weight Watchers, and lost 8 pounds in my first month.  I am about to reach a weight I haven't seen for over two years.  I am planning meals, and buying more produce, and actually eating it before it goes bad!  And you know what?  I can take my kids out for ice cream, watch their joy and not feel sad.  I am finally balanced and happy, and claiming more healthy habits in my life!  And when I absolutely need some Super Nachos from Paco's, I budget it into my day, and I eat it, and I love it!

I decided I needed time for me, so I reached out, and found a job, photographing inventory for a LuLaRoe consultant.  One night a week, I get to chat with a lovely woman while doing work that makes my back hurt, and I get to think about exposure and white balance, while doing something that directly blesses someone else.  And then I take home my paycheck in clothes, drape them over my shrinking body, look in the mirror and love myself.

Today I got up at 7:15am, did a load of laundry, washed all the dishes and cleaned the counter tops, hung up the laundry to dry, walked two miles, sweated out an entire pound, showered and fed my kids all before 10:30am.  Six months ago I would have climbed out of bed at 10:30 in tears

And then I realized that I now have the confidence and the capability to run my own business, and to do it well. So I took the plunge and signed-up to sell LuLaRoe. I'm going to make money. I'm going to have something that is mine. I am going to help my family gain financial freedom.  And among these goals I am going to make it a top priority to help women see themselves in a new light.  I want to help women to transform their confidence and their lives the way that I have in these past months.  I want to help them love themselves, the way I have learned to love myself!

 

If you'd like to join me on my LuLaRoe journey, feel free to join my group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/1588650218132032/