Clues.

So there's one thing that has grown to make me absolutely crazy about being a woman.  First of all: We have so many sensations!  This whole cycle business fills our daily life with so many pains; Stabbing pains, deep throbbing pains, soreness, aching pains, head aches, belly aches, not to mention all the unmentionables that go along with it all.  Secondly: If you're looking for clues about being pregnant, all these very prominent discomforts, that should be (and are) considered as signs of pregnancy, are completely and utterly useless.  If you flip through any informational guide about fertility you'll find some sort of chart that reads as follows:

Signs of Pregnancy:

• Abdominal pain (also caused by impending menstruation).
• Sore breasts (also caused by menstruation).
• Spotting (this may also be a cause of menstruation).
• etc.

So we have all these wonderful "green light" signs to know if we have yet conceived, but they might as well just be the green light to stock up on tampons.  Each month I have one or more of these symptoms more or less, and in my impatience, I stock up on everything.  You should see the 16-year-old cashier's face when he rings out maxi pads, panty liners, tampons and a couple pregnancy tests all at once.  You should probably not see my face when I'm trying to decide which to use first.  Anyways, I'm sure we all wish that there was just a big flashing light on our cervix that said, "You did it! You're pregnant!"  Unfortunately, the best option we have is to wait nine months and see if a baby pops out.  Good luck, ladies.