Fashion.

Last fall I was blessed to take a digital photography class at Pima, and I learned all kinds of great things and it was incredible and wonderful, and I got lots of kudos left and right, yay.  The best part, however, is that I met two incredibly fabulous friends, who I now enjoy and cherish!

One friend in particular, has helped me in more ways than she probably realizes!  Let me tell you about the fabulous Sydney, fashion stylist and blogger!  This woman is incredible.  Firstly, she takes such great care of her skin, it made it almost impossible for me to guess her age!  One day when she mentioned her 10 year old son, I had a little mental breakdown.  Secondly, she puts time into herself.  Even on the days when she throws on jeans and tennies, she spends enough time, that she looks radiant!

Let me tell you why this is such a huge thing for me.  I was raised by a practical woman.  Practicality is everything.  If its not practical and fully functional, it doesn't belong in your life.  This idea has been like doctrine for me.  Then there's the fact that I've always been a bit of a tom boy.  I prefer tennies.  I prefer tee shirts.  I prefer pony tails.  Amen.  Fashion has just never been my thing.  Now there's the fact that I've been getting more and more into photography.  I remember the first time I sat down and watched America's Next Top Model with my room mates, they sat around saying, "I want to be her! She's so beautiful and her neck is perfect!" And I sat there saying, "I want to be that photographer! His job looks so fun, and look at that lighting equipment!"  And that has pretty much been my outlook on fashion.  I love to photograph it, I buy copies of Vogue at Bookmans just to study the lighting patterns, always thinking fashion isn't for me.

Now I have a watermelon for a waistline.  I'm not sure if I can properly express how this changes ones perspective.

When I first got pregnant, I couldn't care less how I looked.  When I first started to show, I felt radiant, even in sweats.  Now I feel like a barge, and I cannot tell you how my self esteem has begun to plummet. For some reason, maternity clothing is half past impossible to find in Tucson.  I'm not sure what the problem is here.  There's one maternity store that I know of, and I cannot tell you how out of our budget it is.  So I opted for some men's Tees that I found for $1 a piece at the Deseret Industries.  And my self esteem continued to plummet.  Oh, then I ran out of pants.  And my self esteem continued to plummet.  Then my mother tried to remedy the situation with a pair of 3x stretch waist pants.  And my self esteem was pretty much fully plummeted.

Then, about two weeks ago, I started flipping through Sydney's blog.  She dresses darn cute, and then photographs herself, and then shows to world how adorable she is on any given day.  I remember her telling me, "I used to go all out, and do my hair and everything! Now I just don't have the time for that."  She said she doesn't have time for that?  She's a working mother, and she somehow still finds the time to look fabulous.  And what do I do all day?

So I searched through my closet one day, and tried to look at my clothing with a different perspective.  I found a long skirt, that my mother bought me, that had been much too gaudy for me to ever wear, and I didn't have a shirt to go with it, so I never had yet worn it.  I found a matching tee that no longer covers my belly, and then raised the skirt up to my chest, and tied a belt around my empire waistline.  I felt cute.  I felt so darn cute.  It was the first time I felt cute in a long time.  That day I met my mother for some reason, and she just about flipped.  She was so happy, first, to see that I was wearing something she gave me, and secondly, that I turned it cute.

Two days later she called me, "Come over, I did some shopping."

I didn't look at price tags, so I have no idea what kind of damage she did, but it was all from Ross (love)!  To say the least, she actually found some successful pieces, and I actually have a cute wardrobe that fits me now!  She even found me some sleeved maxi dresses (which have been near impossible to find!) which I can wear like a mumu at home, or dress up with a cute belt to go out!

With new clothing hanging in my closet, new found inspiration from Sydney, and one trimester to go, I decided to make a promise to myself to look fabulous.  I realized with a little bit of time and effort, even if I'm not going anywhere for the day, I need to make myself look how I want to feel.  When my waistline was small, I could totally work the look of a messy tom boy, who just rode here on her bicycle, but when I feel like a barge,  I don't necessarily have to dress like one.

So on Friday we began our early morning walk regimen (waking up at 5:30am before Michael leaves for work) and with an early start to the day, I took advantage!  I curled my hair (haven't used that iron for about 6 months) and reunited with my Bare Minerals.  And I did the same each day, and seriously, I had the best weekend I've had in a long time!

So here's my new opinion on fashion: You've got to dress how you want to feel.  I want to feel like a strong, beautiful woman, and so I will dress like a strong, beautiful woman.  I don't imagine anyone will be catching me in my pumps any time soon, but with a few cute belts, and some sparkly eye shadow, I've gone from being a whale, to a woman.

Thank you Sydney, for inspiring me!